Letting go of the body, the senses, the roles.
The self quietly dissolves,
and everything moves on its own.
There are moments when you feel too present as yourself.
You notice how you’re being seen.
You think about how you sound.
You become aware of every small movement.
Sometimes it happens when I’m filming.
Or when I suddenly realise I’m being watched.
It’s a kind of tension.
Even when nothing is wrong.
Zuò wàng points to something quieter.
Not improving yourself.
Not expressing yourself.
Just sitting,
and letting all of that fall away for a while.
You don’t need to hold your identity so tightly.
The roles you carry.
The way you define yourself.
The version of you that you try to maintain.
They can soften.
At first, it feels unfamiliar.
If you’re not holding onto who you are,
then what is left?
But if you stay there a little longer,
there’s a different kind of ease.
I sometimes feel it
in the middle of painting,
when I forget to think about what I’m doing.
You’re still here.
But without the effort of being someone.
Things continue.
Breathing happens.
Thoughts pass.
The world moves.
And somehow,
you are part of it again.
Not as a role.
Not as an identity.
Just as you are.